My Woeful Workplace

My direct superiors are 2 dinosaurs. The old dinosaur is a real blur. Perhaps because it is older, it is slow and forgetful. This dinosaur often rambles about insignificant things that are not directly related to work. Hence, my colleagues and I do not take this dinosaur seriously. We are not scared of this dinosaur too. We only wish that it is more focused on its work and perhaps, it can help us rein the other dinosaurs in a little. Right now, old dinosaur is mostly in its own world, doing its own thing. But other dinosaurs actually rule the roost. 

The dinosaur I report to directly is a real scare, a T-Rex. It is demanding, and has super high expectations of me and of my colleagues. Every project has to be thought out in detail before being presented. And every paperwork has to be comprehensive before being submitted. If we do not fulfil T-Rex's expectations, T-Rex turns ugly. T-Rex will then criticize and make us feel so stupid and so small. 

T-Rex never sent me for professional courses. As the head of the subject, I feel that I should be attending courses when it is related to my subject. But no, T-Rex itself attended one important course and sent another colleague to attend another. In my 7.5 years in the school, there were only 2 courses related to the syllabus and I never got to go to any. Why? Did T-Rex fear that I would know more than it would? Did T-Rex fear that I would be better than it? Was I a threatening figure to T-Rex's position, and hence, it had to send someone less threatening? Well, if T-Rex ever felt threatened by me, I guess I had to feel honoured about it? 

I also hated it when T-Rex came between the students and me. You see, our opinions differed sometimes, and the students were caught in between. By right, students under my charge should be following my guidelines. I was a teacher-advisor for their project for a reason - to help and guide them. And there came T-Rex, meddling in our affairs ... One time, I firmly disagreed with T-Rex in matters related to documentation because I firmly believed that what T-Rex wanted was not right at all. T-Rex had the students follow its way. I found it unacceptable because it was the wrong way. The students? Heck, I washed my hands off them and let them do whatever they wished. It was just very unprofessional to me because with T-Rex in the picture, the students would undermine my capabilities and my professional judgement. If T-Rex had wanted to have a say in the students' work, by right, T-Rex should have gone through me, instead of going to the students directly. And you know what, T-Rex did this very often. 

Recently, my friend said to me in Mandarin, 'T-Rex likes to cause harm to others'. In Mandarin, my friend used the word 害; T-Rex gets a kick from seeing teachers suffer. A modern sadist. Hence, T-Rex ensures that the teachers are fully occupied - teaching, co-curricular activities, projects, action researches, reports, exams, invigilations, and so on. Yet, after doing all these, T-Rex never shows its gratitude and appreciation. T-Rex even gets in the way of people's promotional opportunities. A former colleague of mine, who had since retired, bitterly talked about it in his speech on his retirement day; he stood on the stage, giving his farewell speech and sharing his regret that he could not apply for promotion without the support of T-Rex and its dinosaur friends. Indeed, there were many who were bitter - some have retired and vowed never to step foot in the school again, some were forced to resign, others opted to retire early, some have transferred ... and a few have sadly passed on.

To survive in the school, one has to have great PR Skills. Good morning, sir. Hello, madam. Yes, sir. No, madam. Sounds pretentious, but who seriously doesn't like to be fawned over? One's ego will be flattered, and he or she will feel great about himself or herself. T-Rex does not like most teachers, but T-Rex does like a handful. These are the newcomers, the sweet-talkers, the actors or actresses. Favour is not based on merit but by how one can actually carry himself or herself in front of T-Rex. So the time came when T-Rex had to review your projects, and if T-Rex liked you, your project would get a pass easily. But if T-Rex hated your guts, you would have to redo yours. That's a certainty every time. T-Rex did not like me. And I always got to work with people whom T-Rex did not like either. But I also had tricks up my sleeve. I am good at paperwork, so I always make sure I come up with a comprehensive proposal that will do the job of convincing T-Rex of my project. Make lemonade when life throws you lemons.

One fine day, my colleague L sent me a text message. Did T-Rex observe my online class, she asked. T-Rex was going to observe her and she was worried about it. Well, not to worry, I advised her. I told her that T-Rex merely wanted to steal some ideas for its own lessons. Little did I know that T-Rex too invited itself to my online class just two days later - on the pretext that it was a pre-scheduled observation that T-Rex just had to carry out no matter what. I also asked around to check which other classes T-Rex entered, and another colleague M told me exactly what I told L - that T-Rex was on the prowl for lesson ideas. 

I guessed we all knew T-Rex too well. I was just annoyed about how T-Rex was too proud to admit that it wanted to learn from lowly minions like us. Why couldn't T-Rex just say that it wanted to see and learn how we carried out our online lessons? Why did T-Rex have to make me believe that it was coming to MY class because it HAD to do it because the observation HAD been scheduled? Did T-Rex think I would believe it? Did T-Rex think I was a fool? But anyway, because of that statement, I designed a lesson that would bowl T-Rex over. I showed T-Rex how I engaged my students and used various web tools in my 2 hour class. I made sure that T-Rex knew that I was of certain calibre and that it was right to be intimidated by my capabilities.

Sigh. I hate T-Rex's irrationality. I hate it even more when no one can talk some sense into T-Rex. I hate it when T-Rex makes a mountain out of a molehill.  I hate it when T-Rex makes excuses to get things done in a way it likes it.  I hate it when T-Rex goes behind my back to do things. Above all, I hate myself for being affected by T-Rex's tyranny. 

These days, when I read T-Rex's messages in the official messenger chat group, I sort of think that T-Rex is trying very hard to show that it is grateful to all the teachers' work despite everything. However, because T-Rex has a terrifying reputation already, it will be so difficult for this reputation to be undone. No matter what T-Rex writes in the messages, I won't buy it at all. No one will buy it. 

Only after one week at the school, a school clerk walked over as I was supervising some students at the field. Seeing that I was new, the clerk dropped by to make some small talk. The clerk did not hesitate to warn me about T-Rex - do not ever get blacklisted by T-Rex or else your days would be numbered. Did this clerk go around and tell lies about T-Rex? I would say not. T-Rex was really a scary creature. 

For all of my woes, I can actually still tolerate T-Rex. But why should I tolerate T-Rex when T-Rex was nothing but a big bully?